lets struggle....lets giggle....heh???...=p

SEMUA ASSIGNMENTS SAYE DAH SIAP DAN DAH HANTAR!!...
hoho...saye sangat kagum dengan diri sendiri.....harus rasanya saya letak ikon muka bangga macam yang kat ym tu....tp unfortunately takde....haha...padan muka saya....=p

so now...its time to struggle for the final exam right??....heee...it suppose to be yes....dengan jadual exam yg sangat menjeleskan semua kawan2 yang lain....saye haruslah berkerjasama kan??...eh...berkerja keras!!

oke2...ni jadual saya...

26/04/10 Risk Theory <--------------- ini adelah subjek teori berisiko saya yang sangat menggerunkan...saya seramm!!!
28/04/10 Actuarial Mathemathics II <------------ ini adelah subjek repeat saya...harap maklum....(T_T)
07/05/10 General insurance I <-------- subjek ni xtau nak komen ape...hahaha

oke.....anda pun jeles dengan jadual saye kan??...kan kan???..sila angguk sekarang!!!....heee....kalau nak jadual exam yang bahagia macam saya...sila la mengextendkan diri secara sengaja dengan bahagianya oke!!!...haha....tengok tu...saya menyebarkan dakyah sesat lagi....sila jangan ikut....kerana saya tau takde sape pun dalam dunia ni yang sukakan merepeat paper dan mengextendkan diri kecuali saya....heee.....

namun yang demikian....saya telahpun menghabiskan masa 3hari ini untuk melakukan banyak perkara yang 'tak seperti struggle punn??'....heeee

hari ahad lepas saya dah pun bergather2 dengan kawan2 saye....sangat seronott sebab agak lame tidak berjumpe....




berjaye membuat sand art dengan bahagienye juge....hoho...

sand art pertame seumur hidup...haha...sangat bangge...
dedicated to....ermm....sape2 la...haha

hari isnin semalam saye telah berjaya menyiapkan assignment terakhir dan menghantar dan membalas dendam dengan menidurkan diri tanpa sedar sepanjang petang dan menonton drama sambil membaca komik sepanjang malam...(sangat tak produktif ok)....

dan hari iniii....saye sudah berjaya berdate dengan dengan mak saye!!!!...hoorayyy!!....seronok kuase lapan belas laa.....hee....terubat juge rindu sebulan lebih xbalik....dapat makan pizza hut juge dengan mak setelah lebih setengah tahun xdapat makan pizza...haha...kesian saye kan??...

ini bukan gambar tadi ye...gambar ini mase ajah kawen...=p
whatever...saye saaayang mak saye....(^_^)

oke2....sudah2.....harus hentikan giggles2 ini.....sekarang harus masa untuk serius dan struggle...haaa....ok iya...sudah buang sume tension2 tu....dah seronok gelak2 sakan...sila study skarang ok!!!

errmmm....tapi...saya nak habiskan bleach lg 2-3 chapter bole???...=p

p/s:
1. doakan saye ye kawan2....dan saye pun doakan kejayaan kamu2 semua yang baca entri ini....semoga semuanya berjaya dan mendapat kebahagiaan dan rahmat Allah sentiasa...insya'Allah....ameennn...

2. untuk kak ngah...jangan marah oke...nt saye date dgn kamu pulakk...huhu

so that is the 'awlawiyaat'.....

this is my decision.....i will stay here for almost 2months until the exams end....it's ok.....saya akan bertabah....

now.....here i am....sitting alone....working on those journals....sometimes stuck at 'my bleach'...that 'ichi-ruki' world...haha....or sometimes finding myself drowning in the world of 'shin-ran'....i don't know why....until now i still can't resist the temptation of those manga and anime....i just can't...heeee....

whatever......

i try to heal that wound.....but somehow i realise it just can't.....

hey myself!!...just relax......it's ok.....i know i missed them so much.....but just chill.....after all of this end....we will meet ok.....don't be sad.....smile my dear....=)...


ohoo....dear my readers....jangan pening2...ini bukan kisah sedih....ini hanya kisah saya yang terlalu kecewa kerana tak dapat balik kampung......and honestly....ini kisah sengal kan???....hoho...sila angguk dan bersetuju sekarang....

but still...saya sedih jugak....tapi xpe la.....abaikan perasaan sedih yang keterlaluan dan tak bertempat ini sekarang.....huuu

yesterday i think i don't know what is the 'awlawiyaat' anymore.....but today somehow i just find that meaning again.......

i will stay here.....finish up my assignments.....working on my studies......and preparing for that exam battle which will come very very soon......i don't want to shoot for the stars.....not moon or sun anymore.....i know i just can't.....i really finding myself almost fall down to earth...very near to earth......so i think....it just ok if i can stay at the sky and flying freely.....discovering how beautiful my life and my world from that blue sky......my dear God...the most merciful Allah......please fulfill this wish......please give me the whatever that You know the best for me....amin......

so that is the 'awlawiyaat'........right dear mr.myhero???

'mengutamakan yang paling utama antara yang utama....'

i know that and this is my decision.......and i always hope you will be by my side to always make me calm....to share everything with me.....to be the very best friend that i ever had....you will always with me right???....=)

and then....i want to copy my dear ayai's quote....*i'm copying from you incik ayai!*...=P

'far have we come...yet far still to go.....until the season ends......wait and hope'......

p/s:
1.i will have a small gather-gathering tomorrow with my dear 'siblings' for the revenge of all this......enjoy yourself dear myself!!...=)

2.unfortunately that dear mr.myhero fall sick.....get well soon my love.....take care of yourself coz i can't do that now.....but i'll always pray for you......=)

dateline itu semakin hampir........

ohohohhhhooooo...sudah agak lama saye tak mengupdate blog ini ye....nak seminggu sudah....bagaimanela saye nak update blog andai kebizian yang melande pun xter'update2'....heee.....



kalau xkira minggu ni...maknenye tinggal seminggu lagi kuliah da nak habis....itu juge bermaksud SAYE CUMA ADE SEMINGGU LAGI UNTUK SIAPKAN SEMUA SIMON2 SAYE YANG BAGAIKAN MIMPI YANG TAK SUDAH ITU!!....huhuhuuuu......

sekarang bagaikan menjadi hobi untuk saye menande kat checklist keje2 saye tu....saye nak siapkan cepat2....saye takut xbanyak mase untuk study....dah la 1st paper final exam saye risk theory.....saye sangat geruuuunnnnnn.....gegegege.....

projek 3rd language terakhir saye da siapp....report seminar saya sudah dihantar....presentation untuk maths esok masih belum siap.....journals saye xsiap2 lagiii..huuuu......ade 4yang harus saye kerjakan...chaiyok2 iya!!....perjanjian date saye dengan ast, farrah, nana dan akak sudah pun tertunde2 hingga tak menemui tarikh muktamad....janji saye nak jumpe aiennal sebab rindu kat dia pun dah tak tau la cemane...cume janji tinggal janji je la kot coz saye terlalu asyik menghabiskan hujung minggu saye di sini.....siaaan dia....saye sudah menerima sms rindu dari kucing kakak saye si maru itu kerana sudah lama xmenjenguk kesana....bermakne saya harus menziarahinya dan bermain tergolek2 bersama dia.....adoii....

maru yang tergolek~~

minggu depan saye ade test.....huhu...saye sudah tidak tau me'manage'kan masa saye rupanya...semuanya semakin terkejar2......n paling xbest....sesudah saya menamatkan edit movie 3rd language saya...saya pun dilanda demam yang tak diundang...hai hai hai.....nampak gayanya esok terpaksalah saya buat presentation bersama suara sengau dan bersin2 ini....huuuu.......

saya sudah pun menelefon mak sambil menangis2 kerana sudah sebulan saye tak balik.....saya sangat home sickk....=(......hoho...
walau bagaimanapun...segala kerja2 harus saya settlekan dengan senyuman dan wajah gembira seperti ini.....

wajah2 riang kami menyiapkan projek....walaupun kami kena berlakon makan kfc....kami makan betul2....hahaha...semoga lecturer2 akan ketawa berguling-guling menonton filem pendek dan persembahan kreatif kami yang hebat itu....kui kui kui.....

saya nak rehat....kepala saya sudahpun berbunyi 'ziiuuunggg2' seperti kipas angin yang rosak....tapi...nampaknya situasi benar2 tak mengizinkan.....iya...sila bertabah sekarang kerana banyak lagi yang harus diselesaikan.......(~_~).......

p/s: doakan saya cepat sembuh......demam ini benar2 membuatkan kepala saya terasa seperti habozai dalam kartun ninja boy itu.....huuuu....

i am the april fools???

entry pertama untuk bulan april....april fool???.....no lah......thinking that i'm the one who is fool....wondering.....kenapalah entri2 recently penuh dengan perasaan sedih....emosi....terkilan....tertekan dan sebagainya......tak ade story gumbira kah??....

and today....sekali lagi entry yang penuh dengan perasaan2 sebegini....boringkan baca blog saya macam ni??......when i'm the one who read through this blog pun saya terasa gloomy bila baca balik entry2 saya ni......tapi.....saya tak mampu nak pretend gembira....buat2 bahagia when i'm not......





i don't know why..........but my heart feels like broken.....tears apart by somebody's solid hand.....and my fragile heart crushing into sands........i'm really really really sad and upset because of that 'things' and that 'somebody'........





i told myself.....forgive that 'someone'.......forget about all of this.......try to make clear of what is not......forgive.....forget.......forgive....forget.....forgive and forget.........i'm trying......trying to understand.....trying to put aside to my heart......trying to accept what stated as 'my fault'......trying to forgive on everything that put torn in my heart.......and trying to forget anything that keep the problem be a problem........i'm trying.....trying.....and trying........


but i think......i'm the only one who keep trying......and when the other party are not......at the time when i'm almost reach my winning ribbon.......the another third party come out with the gun.....shoot straight through my 'trying to heal' heart......then i fall.....and i'm lose......

i don't know how long can i keep this patient......but please.....my dear God.....give me the strength to hold this patient hardly......saya mohon dengan sangat Ya Allah.........






hari ni....my class held actuarial talk for actuarial students.....we're the host....so we have to handle up everything......and as the sexytary.....*perasan seksi!!*.......i'm stress of many kind of thing lately.......

everything done successfully......thanks to all my classmates on your 200% cooperation.....i really thanks and proud to all of you......

but somehow......i really regret....coz saya mungkin termarah....teremosi.....dan terherdik atau tertengking sesiapa yang 'ter'kena..........saya mintak maaf sangat2........i'm totally not myself today....and absolutely can't handle my mind and emotion.......i'm so regretful......rasa sangat berdosa.....

because of other things that bother me.....my emotion and myself......saya lepaskan tekanan saya pada orang lain.......saya mintak maaf sangat2.......



p/s: i think i start the mistake from the very beginning......rasanya saya tersilap langkah.....saya minta maaf pada semua yang 'ter'sakiti........